Awkward Catholic

Living my faith as the awkward man of God that I am.


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A Shadow of Heaven

Baby in UteroThe world we live in is a shadow of the one to come, not merely symbolic of the one to come, but a foretaste, a foreshadowing. Did you ever think about that? All creation is an act of God, a result of his ever-abundant, overflowing love. The very nature of God is love; self-gift to and reception of the other. The Father gives himself completely in love to the Son and the Son gives himself completely in love to the Father. This mutual outpouring of self, this love, is the Holy Spirit.

This in essence is life. All creation is a manifestation of this Trinitarian love. And this love naturally draws what it loves to itself. All creation flows out of this Trinitarian love and instinctively, naturally and inherently returns to the source of its love. You, I, the trees and animals, the stars in the sky, the angels and celestial choirs, every single aspect of creation is a unique expression of the love of God. And love draws what it loves to itself, so as the Venerable Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said, “It is not we who are on the quest for God, but God who is on the quest for us!”

Further, as in all things concerning God, there is an order to things. Every aspect of creation is ordered to, in a certain and limited way, reflect this love of God. And so inanimate objects to a much lesser degree than living beings, with humans at the apex of the loving reflection. Hence, all creation is a shadow of the life to come, where we will reach our end, the end of our journey, and the beginning of life in the fullness of reality, the fullness of love.

Now let’s get real… let’s get Catholic…

When you were baptized you were betrothed to Christ and his Church (his Body). To be clear, you weren’t just “accepted” into the Church. Betrothal, as opposed to our modern form of engagement, isn’t just a promise for a future marriage. It begins the marriage! Did you ever notice that Joseph was going to divorce Mary when he found out she was pregnant? Why would he need to divorce her if the marriage hadn’t yet begun? The wedding ceremony completes what begun in the betrothal just as Confirmation completes what begins in Baptism.

Wedding Rings

Confirmation then is literally (not just symbolically) your wedding day to Christ… not just spiritually but bodily (remember the Church is the Body of Christ)! In Confirmation we walk down the aisle and enter into a covenant relationship with Christ! It’s a wedding, a real and fruitful wedding where our Beloved literally pours himself, his love, the fullness of his Spirit into ourselves. It is an exchange of selves!

So if Baptism and Confirmation are a marriage (not just symbolically, but truly) then any marriage, to be valid must have a “wedding night”. Do you know what I mean by that? A marriage is effected not just spiritually but bodily as well. Hence, the Eucharist! Communion is the consummation of our wedding with Christ! How pathetic would it be if the Eucharist were just a mere symbol? Who wants to only symbolically consummate their marriage? (This explains why you can only be baptized and confirmed once, but receive the Eucharist over and over again.) 

This is the beauty of our faith! Remember, the word “communion” is Latin for “union with”. We are meant for total union with God in heaven. Earth is just a cruise ship stuck in the ocean with overflowing toilets. Eventually we’ll get home and home is heaven! And heaven is the eternal consummation of love! And in Communion we literally and truly consummate, become one with God!

This life is only a shadow of the one to come, but Communion, Communion is literally heaven on earth.

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Gutterball Stuck

GutterballHave you ever given someone good advice that would truly help them in their life, only to realize that you fail to live by that advice yourself? I have. In fact, I have given this particular piece of advice about 150 times a year, for the last 9 years. Think about that, at least once every two days I told something to somebody (usually a different person) that I failed to follow myself. Have you ever met such a hypocrite?!

What advice am I talking about? Just this: that in order to become a saint, you need to pray, a lot more than what you’re doing now. You see, I am a youth minister and it’s my job to prepare high school teens for Confirmation. If you’re not Catholic, Confirmation is where a person confirms his or her faith in God as a Catholic and receives the outpouring of the Holy Spirit (the love of God). It is one of the seven Sacraments of the Catholic Church and is a big deal.

I meet one-on-one with each teen in the program twice, once at the beginning of their two-year preparation and again at the end, prior to their receiving the Sacrament. Each time I ask the teens about their prayer life. Most of them have progressed very little during their time in the program, which is natural, in a certain sense, for the average American teenager who’s more concerned about texting and enjoying life than about becoming a saint. OK, let’s be honest, that description pretty much sums up just about every single American, no matter the age, religion, gender, race or life situation.

I guess that’s part of the problem, isn’t it? We’re all kind of stuck in this rut, in this tired and routine way of doing things that prevents us from ever truly changing. I mean, COME ON! I’ve actually said the words, “You need to pray more, a lot more, because trying to be a Christian without a prayer life is like trying to be a pole vaulter without a pole,” over 1450 times in the last nine years and I’ve maybe taken two steps forward in my own prayer life.

What have I done to improve my prayer life in the last nine years? Well, I used to go to daily Mass; now I’m lucky if I make it there once a month. I’ve started saying a daily Chaplet of Divine Mercy… when I drive somewhere. If I don’t go anywhere that day, I don’t pray the chaplet. I say a Rosary each day, usually. That started about a year ago. But I usually only finish the full Rosary when it’s convenient, like when I have to spend time rocking one of my children to sleep. I have started trying to “practice the presence of God” in my daily life and I usually remember to do that once every other day.

What’s my point? I’m a hypocrite. I’m a hypocrite with a gift for writing and encouraging others to do what I’m so bad at doing myself. Could you imagine how holy my family would be or how effective my ministry would be if I actually started living the life I challenge my teens to live?! How many lives could I change if I were the person God expected me to be? Pope Francis recently said,

“Accompanying Christ, remaining with him requires a “stepping outside,” a stepping beyond. Stepping outside of ourselves, of a tired and routine way of living the faith, of the temptation to withdraw into pre-established patterns that end up closing our horizon to the creative action of God.  God stepped outside of himself to come among us, he pitched his tent among us to bring the mercy of God that saves and gives hope.”

If I had the courage to step outside of my routine, tired habits I could change the world, I could be that mercy and hope to others in ways I can’t even imagine. What are your tired routines, your pre-established patterns? For me, my tired routines are thus: driving home each night to sit down at the dinner table and help my kids to eat their dinner, engage in small talk with my wife, and put my boys to bed. Then we watch a show or play a board game and head off to bed ourselves.

Sure, we bless our food, we pray with the boys each night as they go to sleep and we pray as husband and wife as we fall asleep (when I’m tired enough to go to bed when my wife does). But those are such routine prayers! There are so many other opportunities to grow in my prayer life! But I’m like a stream of water, taking the path of least resistance. It’s easier to turn on the TV then to sit in prayer. It’s easier to play a game of chess on my tablet than to read Scripture or the life of a saint. It’s easier to check Facebook than to go to the church and pray (which is only 40 steps away from my office desk).

What about you? How can you change your tired routines to become the saint that God is calling you to be? You shouldn’t have to think too hard. I believe most of us already know what it is we need changing, but we lack the will to do it. As Saint Augustine once quipped, “Lord, Make me chaste; just not yet.”

I think there are only about 3 husbands/dads reading my blog at this time (and about 5 women), but who cares? To paraphrase Thomas Dubay in his book, The Fire Within, if only 100 people would become the saints that God has called them to be, it would set the world on fire. Three husbands/dads is a good start… only 97 to go.

How can we bust out of our tired routines? Even if we have to embarrass ourselves in front of our wives by asking for their help, what is it we can do to become great saints, to lead them into sanctity? For me, it’s reading Scripture with my wife each night after we put our boys to bed and before we turn on the TV; or perhaps we talk about our feelings for a little while; or, God forbid, I wake up early twice a week and take one of my boys to daily Mass with me (and then go for those beautifully unhealthy treats called donuts afterwards). I love donuts. Maybe one day soon I’ll love prayer even more.